Anybody who knows me (and chances are very high anybody who reads this blog knows me afk) will be able to immediately confirm that my sleep schedule is, to put it lightly, fucked. It was fucked during high school when I stayed up late to play Worms Armageddon with friends, it stayed fucked during my apprenticeship when I stayed up late to shitpost with my voice with ironic internet racists, and it continues to be fucked while I’m a NEET.

So yesterday I decided I needed to get a grip on my sleep problem and the first thing I thought of was installing a sleep tracking app. And that’s what I did. I set it to track my sleep as well as all kinds of noises I could possibly make, and then I wanted it to give me lucid dreams but that hasn’t worked yet. Anyway, here’s what last nights sleep tracking looks like:
admin is a dumbass

Yeah, that’s not so good. I don’t snore as much as I thought I’d do, so I get bonus points for that. But I’ll have to up my game in sleeping. Then maybe I’ll be able to dream like Lillianยน from GGaR does.

Or maybe just let me remember my dreams, even if they are weird and I can’t control them.


I make cake sometimes.
It mostly tastes pretty good.
I like chocolate cake.
~schmelle, 2018

Curious cute cannibalists can cook cleverly.
Brave bright boys bullied bodybuilders before being banned by big bad boss.
An anime adaptation aside are all actually alright again?
~schmelle, 2018

End of #Neet-Life? (Part FOUR) It’s almost over, THANK JIM STERLING!

4 days in, 1 day left
That’s right, I’m only doing half the internship because printers can’t officially suck my dick because only awesome things can suck my dick. Like Japanese onaholes, which I’m gonna get en masse if the other internship following this nightmare whatever this was.

Now, I’m not quitting because I didn’t like the company. The company was fine. The dude who took me to customers and showed me how he repairs fucking printers was fine. The other dude I was with also was okay. But the printers, man… the printers just took all the fun out of it. Also, it’s way too much driving around. I like helping people with IT problems, but I prefer to do it over the phone or email. Not that I don’t like getting my hands dirty, I’ll dig into any old computer/printer/server/whathaveyou I can get, but I wasn’t allowed to do that and also there’s always a clock ticking because customers NEED THEIR PRECIOUS PRINTERS NOW and you can’t accidentally break it and get away with it. Just like that one time where I broke my boss’ network and took the whole company offline for 90 minutes, that didn’t have any consequences at all, no sir, no, I’m just only doing helpdesk now until forever because I feel like it.

Sorry, I lost it there somewhat.

Tomorrow is my last day, and even though it’s definitely not a job for me it’s still kinda sad because I had at least something meaningfull to do with my time. Oh well.



Lol, creativity == 0.

Compare these two statements:
I have 19 figures (anime-themed) unopened in mint condition in my room right now. They probably worth at least 500 bucks, maybe even ~750.

My bank account is in the red. I'm not selling/trying to sell the figures.

Please help me figure out my life.

End of #Neet-Life? Part 3: Resignation

3 days in, 7 days left
So today was only half a day because I had a job interview at 2pm, and I had to leave at 1pm to be on time for that. So I only got 5 hours of printery things to report on. And the last hour didn’t have anything to do with printers, it was just the two trainees and me watching Rick and Morty. The German synchronization of Rick and Morty. Which is awful. I could feel my ears bleed. One of the even acknowledged how bad it is, but still didn’t change to English. I had to watch Justin Roiland videos to clean myself afterwards.

That was a lie. I didn’t watch any JR videos. I talked like Rick in my head while I was driving to the job interview.

In English, of course. Who would talk German in Germany? Fuck that.

Before the awful part I joined another printer repair guy and helped him replace a printer at a doctor’s office, and then started to help him repair another printer at another company that I forget what they make. It’s not important to my or your life though, unless you work with iron or steele or something like that for fun. Leave a comment if you want me to look up the location on Google Maps.

I say “started to help” because I had to leave when we were halfway through because I would have been late for the interview. That went well, I guess, because they also invited me to do an internship, and they might even pay me. So that’s good news? I have to get up at 5am for that, so eff them, really.

Also before the interview could begin I had to fill out a questionnaire about how I feel certain words reflect my personality. That wasn’t brought up though, and I think I failed that. Either I was too honest or too contradictory or too fake. We’ll see where it goes.

This seems like a good place to stop.

Porn at its Greatest

Girl: What if… what if I give you my phone and a little something extra?
Guy: I don’t know, what’s extra?
Guy: (…) you got another phone?
Girl: shakes head
Guy: or computer…? … I don’t know.
Girl: You could fuck me.


Affection got me nowhere.
Shake my bruised little head for you.
Maritime laws rule.
Reddit can go suck their cock.
~schmelle, 2018

Conforming to traditional haiku format is boring. I need new stimuli.

End of #Neet-Life – Part 2: The Awakening

(The second day was still boring.)
Not as boring as yesterday, although that may be in part because today I actually got to sleep at night, and woke up rested and fit. (Not totally rested and absolutely not fit, but you get the idea.) We worked on more printers today, in multiple locations, with the usual amount of clueless normalfags being dumb and stupid being normalfags. At one location I sighted a cute, pretty girl so the day wasn’t a complete waste. Would have taken pictures if I was able to act stealthily.

In other news, tomorrow I got another job interview. This might finally work out and hopefully be more interesting.

Please continue to wish me luck.

Also please let this government form on the one condition that they make universal basic income a reality. I need more #neetbux.

End of #NEET-Life?

Today I started a two-week internship (unpaid, huzzah!) at an office supply distributor and service company. My responsibilities included sitting in my co-workers car, carring a portable vacuum cleaner, lifting printers and transporting documents. Oh, and one time I was sent to get my co-workers phone from the car.

Terribly exciting stuff. I don’t know if I have any future in this business, though. It’s not that I’m not interested in (printer) technology and fixing (computer) hardware with my actual, 3D, real-life hands. But at this company there’s too much driving around and standing in rooms that make me uncomfortable, and way too much standing up. I miss my old office job already. I missed my comfy little #neet cave.

Also too much windows, too much windows 10, and too many unstoppable windows 10 updates when we didn’t need them.

I have nine days to go. Wish me luck.